Faith or Fear . . . Who’s Drivin’ The Bus In Your Life? by Warren Kahn

Jan 31, 2010 by Warren Kahn

FREE sample MP3 file of an extended version of this topic by Warren.  Click Here

Fasten your seatbelts.

These words won’t likely be pretty and may not be easy to hear. Just notice if you are leaning in or leaning out. It will be another way to see what your answer is to the above question.

First of all, what is faith?

In spiritual context, it might be defined as trust in a Higher Power.

Whether you call it God, Life, Christ, Buddha, Life force or, or, or . . . it has within it some acknowledgment of a force or energy bigger than oneself, that is either responsible for managing all of life’s day-to- day activities, past present and future, or, was the designer of the system including life, death, nature, Karma, fate, DNA, butterfly wings, plastic wrap and photosynthesis.

When I observe our civilization, I discern that Faith often comes in 2 very popular flavors­­–conscious and blind.

Blind never questions. Just keep your head down, go along with, do what you’re told, and turn your own personal power over to someone or something else, because they or it has all the answers. Follow the rules and when you get frightened, just tell yourself your beliefs are right and true. It’s all the others who don’t have a clue. You’re a believer, moral, spiritual, a good person. God said so. If anyone questions your beliefs or moral standards, you condemn them. Some extreme religious fundamentalists even justify killing in order to live a Godly Life.

Amazing thinking, ehhh? Just watch the news today. You might begin to see this in many places.

Why do you think they hold on so tightly?  Where are you holding on so tightly?

Is this really Faith in the true sense of the word, or is it something else?

Could it be Fear that is at play? More on this in just a bit.

Conscious faith discerns the parts of life we have a say in, and which ones we don’t. If it is your philosophy that we are 100% responsible for everything in our lives, feel free to disagree here. I am in the camp that acknowledges a part that remains a mystery, and I don’t need to know how that all works in order to live my life fully, lovingly and faithfully. In fact, isn’t our need to know why something happens just an attempt to control our circumstances so that difficult or painful things can be avoided in the future?

Why do you need to know why things happen the way they do?

What are you trying to control?

 Have you found the answers to questions like:

Why do good people die?

Why do natural disasters happen?

Why do we get disease?

How come innocent children experience horrific things?

Well, have you been able to find the answers? Where? How do you know they are accurate? Are you at peace?

As a spiritual quester, I too have sought to find the answers and meanings of life and at the same time have spent a good deal of time and energy protecting myself from reality. Have you, like me, found that we really can’t escape reality or “Life As It Is”?

What I have chosen as a way forward is to learn to trust life, and bring my best to whatever reality brings. That’s it.

Because I believe that reality is how God/Life is speaking to me.

In my trusting, I own my fear. I am human, authentic, real.

Sometimes when I get scared, I lose my state of trusting. I seek to control my circumstances and assert my judgments and values on everybody and everything around me. I struggle, I resist, I complain, I accuse, I force, I fight.

Isn’t it interesting that in our culture we often call this resistance to what is, courage?

Is that what it is?

Expressions like . . . “He fought to the very end. He really gave it all.” Sound familiar?

Does fighting cancer really work? I don’t really know.

But one thing I do know is that when I am in resistance, I’m stressed out, anxious, tense, tight. And when I harbor that energy in my body and my spirit for extended periods of time, it creates my dis-ease and ultimately contributes to my demise —  physically, energetically and spiritually.

Wouldn’t it be a kicker to discover it is the fight that is the dis-ease, or at least feeds it?  Food for thought. Hmmm

I am not talking here about giving up. I am talking about being with what is happening, and going 100% for what I want. Trusting the process, and even death, as a way to our spiritual evolution.

Conscious trusting is what I am seeking when I say I am after spiritual mastery in my life.

I have a true story to tell you about when I almost drowned in the Indian Ocean off South Africa, a few hundred miles East of Cape Town. I had just completed delivering 3 weeks of More to Life Trainings in Durban, Johannesburg and Capetown, and my wife Lisa had joined me for an additional week to vacation in the wine country and shoreline. I have been a body surfer for most of my life. I have had a lot of experience being in the ocean and was a highly trained lifeguard for 14 years during which I was involved in over 300 rescues on the shores of Long Island in my younger years. So it is very common for me to venture out in the ocean to ride waves. It was about 3 in the afternoon and no one was on the beach as it was cloudy and windy. Lisa was reading a book on the shoreline in front of the bed and breakfast suite we had rented, and I was hungry to get in the water and ride some South African surf. Little did I know that up the coast, there was a typhoon developing. So out into the waves I went. I must have been riding for about 20 minutes with little result, as the waves were choppy and unformed from the wind. I decided to head in. At this time I was about 200 yards from the beach. The moment of greatest impact emotionally was when I took a breath with my head turned to the side, and saw my body moving backwards out to sea at a rapid pace.

Now I was a champion swimmer and an experienced Ocean Life Guard.

I was frightened to see my swimming efforts having no beach ward movement, in the face of a powerful rip tide. I stopped and thought for a moment about what I knew about rip tides. Swim to the side and then you’ll be able to head towards the beach. I looked to the left and to the right, and what I saw was downright scary. The water was sucking out to sea for at least 100 yards on either side of me. The realization that I was at the mercy of a force much larger then me was shocking, and I also knew that I was no longer on the top of the food chain, as the waters off South Africa are inhabited by one of the largest Great White Shark populations in the world.

Well I can tell you I panicked.

I started stroking hard and fast as the salt water made it into my mouth, and I began to gag and cough and fight for breath.

This struggle must have gone on for a minute or two, and then I heard from inside myself. The voice of a teacher, guide, or my own wisdom saying “STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING! STOP, SETTLE DOWN AND BREATHE.”

I stopped. I got my breath back. I brought my best thinking and wisdom to the situation. I was not going to wave my arms for rescue. I did not want to alarm my wife, as there was really nothing she could do. She is not a strong ocean swimmer. I also wanted no harm to come to anyone else who might venture out, because they would just be joining me in their own life and death struggle.

So I took a look at my wife reading on the beach. So small as I was now about 300 yards out to sea.

I chose to lay on my back facing out to sea just in case a rogue wave might come that I might jump on to bring me back to shore.

I breathed. I looked at the sky. I gave thanks for everything in my life. I told God/Life, I will trust you and follow you even if this is the day of my death. I surrender to the force of life bigger than myself. I remembered all the blessings I have been gifted with all throughout my life, and felt a calm and peace throughout my body. The fight was over. I wanted to live, but I would not be the creator of my own death by literally drowning myself in the struggle and panic.

It was a timeless experience. Maybe 5 minutes, maybe more I couldn’t tell you. I decided to turn around towards the shore to see how far I had drifted out to sea.

I turned around in the water and what I saw was unbelievable. I found myself 30 yards from shore. And when I tried to put my feet down, I was in 2 feet of water. I just stood up.

I looked out to sea and the water was still sucking strongly outward.

How could this be? I could not have swam that far, even in a pool in that short time. How did I get to the shore?

I walked to the beach where Lisa ran down to greet me, not knowing that anything had occurred. A Miracle? To me.

I listened inside and heard the voice say.

“It is not your time. You have learned well. You trusted. Now go and teach others.”

Quite a story wouldn’t you say?

Somehow I was delivered to the shore when I dropped resisting. Faith instead of Fear.

Upon my return from South Africa, I told the story to my songwriting partner Lawrence Stoller, and we began to compose and record the song “Deliver Me”, which is on the New2theBrain CD, which is sold on this site. Hope you will gift yourself with some inspiring and creative music by getting it for yourself.

Anyway, I have more to say and hope the story has meaning for you in the context of this essay.

So what is Fear about?

The truth is that we are born into this world with some built-in survival mechanisms: flinching, knee-jerk reactions, physical sensations to heat, pain, adrenaline rushes, fight or flight reactions. These mechanisms have contributed to our survival as a species, and could be framed as a gift from the original designer to us, to help keep us alive. Does this make sense?

As we grow throughout our lives, we witness, and are continuously reminded of the many dangers that are all around us: disease, injury, hurt, violence, financial loss, rejection, war, weather, suffocation, drowning, car accidents, rape, molestation, and on and on. Just watch the news. Even the music themes communicate danger, impending disaster, certainly situations I had better find out about or I won’t survive. Just listen the next time you tune in to CNN or other news shows. I understand this may be good for ratings, as you are driven to tune in and pay attention. Danger is a good motivator for us to tune in with full attention and heightened senses.

And always on the horizon, not far from our emotions and thinking, is the ultimate unknown . . . DEATH.

Is it any wonder why many of us are so afraid?

If you are anything like me, you vacillate between faith and fear.

 

 

 

We’ve all seen the bumper stickers and t-shirts that say “No Fear.” Have you noticed the places where these messages are displayed? Typically they’re on the biggest baddest 4 –wheel drive monster truck you’ve ever seen, or worn by a human being often trying to look very mean.

Is it obvious to you that those claiming “no fear” are often the most frightened when you get beneath the armor? In fact, what’s the armor for, if not protection from perceived danger? The message is really “back off and don’t try anything with me or I’ll crush you into dust.”

Your fear may not be that obvious, being one who professes and ascribes to spirituality.

We are much more subtle in our protection methodology.

It might look more like being over-polite or not saying what we are thinking or feeling, or avoiding confrontation.  After all, confrontation is messy — that we should “suppress our anger” is a popularly held belief. But does it really work?

Just take a moment to reflect on the last time you withheld what you wanted to say to someone because you were afraid of what would happen, or you wanted to make sure they didn’t get hurt feelings. We’ve all done it, including me. But does that really serve us in our relationships, or in our spiritual evolution as a species?

Fear is a human, mortal, part of life. I think it exists to give us the grindstone to rub up against in order for us to evolve from fearful to faithful. Polishing. What a dance. What a design.

It is not about not having fear. It is about the fear not having you.

I’ll say it again.

It is not about not having fear. It is about the fear not having you.

Do you get the difference?

When you are fearful, do you own it? Express it? Once you own it, do you wallow in it? Indulge it?

I take the time to express my negativity proactively and have many techniques from the More to Life Program to handle this and many other challenges that are part of being a human being on this journey called life.

So, Who is your master in each moment?

Are we being real, living truthfully, humanly, openly? It’s always your choice.

And how will we know who is driving the bus at any moment, and whether we are in a state of Faith or Fear?

Here’s a tip. Because you can absolutely know.

The gauge is built in. Your body will tell you.

Just take stock of how you feel physically, what are you experiencing, what are your physical sensations and emotions? They will either have the quality of Faith, (open and grounded) or Fear, (tight, nervous, irritated etc.)

Take a breath and feel into you body right now.

What are you feeling? What are the physical sensations? Your body is telling you where you are, unless you are so numbed out you can no longer feel. But isn’t numbness a fear-driven state? Either afraid to feel in order to avoid pain, or trying to stay in control? Many of us have been taught to control our emotions. But does it really work? When you are tight on the grip of your emotional expression, I suggest you are in Fear once again. Sorry.

Faith or Fear? As you become more self-aware, you can know who’s ‘drivin’ the bus’ at every turn.

Then the question becomes, how can I become the driver I want to be?

To be all I truly am on this journey no matter what is happening.

And there’s more. This kind of learning requires more then just reading about it.

To have a real experience of what I have been speaking about, explore the More to Life.org website to learn more about taking a More to Life experiential course. If you seek some one on one or couples life coaching, visit my Life Coaching website, warrenkahnlifecoaching.com.

I want to acknowledge Dr Roy Whitten and Dr Bradford Brown my teacher, for their wisdom, insights, and guidance in developing the extraordinary More to Life Program, and educational foundation, which continues to impact so many around the world.

Stay tuned for more REAL LIFE TALKS. I hope you found it of value.

So what has this got to do with being spiritual?

I say everything.

More to come.

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FREE sample MP3 file of an extended version of this topic by Warren.  Click Here

Bio and Credits:

We hope you have enjoyed this Real Life Talk which is one of an ongoing series from Warren Kahn, a senior trainer for the More to Life Program and a certified business and personal Life Coach.

For more information on Life Coaching for you or your business contact Warren, at www.warrenkahnlifecoaching.com

Thank you for listening. Enjoy the Journey.

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